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Sunday, April 20, 2008
The poll is getting dusty and smelly. LOL
I know sex will win. Bwahahha I asked the question generally. Not that I restrict any certain country to vote or what. So I can say that the result is pretty global. Followed by money is not a big surprise I suppose.
So people, three most important things are Sex, Money, Beauty.
Thinking back, THAT is what life is all about.
I think I got few minutes to spare to add a new poll. This one too happened to everyone I guess. It's not a question of who the victim is. Sometimes it's nice to have insights from different people of different background.
Is it OK to date your friend's crush of many years?
Option A: YES. My friend doesn't own him/her.
Option B: YES. But I'd ask/tell my friend first.
Option C: NO. Atleast until my friend's feeling for him/her change.
Option D: NO. Even if my friend is OK with it.
I think I have thought of all possible ways to tackle the question. Again, this is not to analyze who the victim is. It's just a question of what would you do is such situation. It might be a simple question but if you really think about it, it'll be hard for you to choose an option.
Of course there are many other "assumptions" like,
"What if my friend's crush likes me too?"
"What if my friend doesn't intend to make a move? So it's not wrong for me to make a move!"
"It's love, I cannot force it to start or to stop."
"It just happened."
Sure thing. But again, how would you tackle the situation? Would you simply date you friend's crush? Would you discuss it with your friends? ESPECIALLY, when you knew how your friend felt about him/her.
And of course, at the same time you should consider the crush's feeling. He/she is a person too. It's more troubling when he/she is a friend of both of you and your friend.
Wow, it's getting complicated.
But I guess in the end it's down to whose feeling is more important to you, whose friendship you treasure more.
Of course, ALL of this doesn't matter for those who choose option A because they are selfish assholes. Haha I couldn't help it. Obviously you have your own version of self defense or reasoning or justification… yada3. But still I don't care. I'd still call you that because I bravely say this, you haven't taste the sweetness of friendship, the beauty of loyalty and the indulgence of a friend's comfort.
Not that you deserve any. *smiles
Yea I should grow up.
I have a lot of adult coming to me and told me life is hard. My experience is nothing compared to them. Life is not as ideal as we think it should be. Everyone cheats. Everyone lies. Everyone is selfish. Everyone wants to win. Don't be kind because no one will treat you likewise.
I have issues with that. Yea I do. Why the fock people in this world think it'd be such a loser to actually be a kind/good person?
"Be kind, just don't be stupid."
My friend, AJ once told me. And I think I like the way he thinks.
Having to say that, it's not complicated at all for me. It's pretty clear I'd choose option D.
Or maybe option C, if he is really THAT cute.
I don't mess with other people's pet.
No question asked.
Happy Voting!!
p.s I'll continue to be busy next week. Then it's heaven. I MEAN IT. It's gonna be HEAVEN!! xD
Posted at 04:33 pm by LACKLUSTER
 | Posted by abrak @ 04/20/2008 08:05 PM PDT | | I guess I can't really vote A because I will be the selfish asshole. LOL.
I don't know. What kind of date actually we are talking about? What level of crush we are dealing with? I have no certain answer.
From my own experience, I never get involved with people crush. Don't know why, but I just don't. | |
| Posted by aizat @ 04/20/2008 10:13 PM PDT | | how to vote? i want to vote for sex :P~
and i go for option A :D~ | |
| Posted by rean @ 04/20/2008 10:49 PM PDT | | alamak.
aku vote utk C.
can't remember ever falling for my friends crush. kalau ada pun it's the reverse of falling, lebih kepada tak brapa suka my friend's crush. contoh:Ib. sampai skang aku tak brapa baik ngan dia. adakah sbb aku cemburu yang seorang lelaki telah mencuri perhatian kawan aku?
(god, it sounds soo wrong, this sentence)
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| Posted by lackluster @ 04/20/2008 11:45 PM PDT | | hi Apis, long time no see :) hoho it's ok if anyone wanna vote A. did i just influence other people vote by labeling them as selfish assholes? LOL i dunno selfish people can be bothered by such calling.
about what kind of date, i dunno if they have different dates. dates are just dates. level of crush? it's mentioned in the question, it a crush of many years.
yea, atmost (involvement) i just dream about other's crush. bt it's nothing sexual?? LOL
HI AIZAT. IT'S CLEAR YOU DONT EVEN READ MY POST. HAHHA :) THE POLL IS UNDER THE CALENDER DUFUS =/ | |
| Posted by lackluster @ 04/20/2008 11:56 PM PDT | | | HOLA rean, wahahha keji siap taruk example! i had that feeling too, sometimes. but doesnt apply to all of my friends, just some. cant help feeling a lil possesive about our "gf" can we?? XP | |
| Posted by mohdnajmie @ 04/21/2008 02:30 AM PDT | | | how should you know that that is your friend's crush in the first place? | |
| Posted by lackluster @ 04/21/2008 03:19 AM PDT | | hi najmie. i do think the options suggest that you know your friend has a crush on that certain someone.
becoz if you didnt know about your friend's feeling, it's prolly fair that you make your move. your friend cant never blame you right?
if he did, i think we all know it's ridiculous :) | |
| Posted by rean @ 04/21/2008 11:08 PM PDT | | hell yeah, raje!
i think i'll get jealous over your boyfriend too. but lets talk about that after you got one, kay?
:wink:
(evilnyer aku..wahahhahaha!!) | |
| Posted by lackluster @ 04/26/2008 09:20 AM PDT | | :D XD bt THAT time, im sure your married already!! haha so no time to get jealous of him!
>__<
p.s. cant wait for summer!! | |
| Posted by mangifera @ 04/26/2008 09:51 AM PDT | | i never date my friend's crush. reason being, all my friends have such a high expectation of women, and most of their expectation doesn't meet mine. so, i could never really fall for their crush.
flirty, i am but i think i also don't bother to get into any trouble for some women. not that i value friendship but i hate to make friends feel uneasy. especially the dear friend. eventhough sometimes my words could really pinch them but i said that with total honesty and honest thing could really bite.
i think the substitute for dating your friend's crush is like dating your friend's ex. the awkwardness is skyrocketing. it happen before within my circle of friends and most of us just ignoring the fact that it ever happened between the girl and the boy. now, that's fucking awkward really.
i'm not non-selfish person, but i think to know your friends feeling for over the years and just snap his/her crush and happily talking about your new bf/gf is just totally wrong. i must say, you not have sense of respect of your friends feeling. fuck it, if the crush fall in love with you, fine, take him/her in but don't overly excited and talk it with your friends over it. i mean, you know how does he/she feels, show some respect.
well, you can stop love from happened but a little bit sense of respect couldn't go amiss. at least, respect your friend feeling. kesian dooo...dia punya lah sakan suka tapi ko plak dapat. dah dapat tu, gaya cam nak tayang2 je. kalau aku, dah lama dah kena kapak. or in some way, some apologies to the friend would help kan. eventhough it's not your mistake, a good gesture are much appreciated.
well, i choose NO, at least until my friend's feeling about him/her change. respect people. got to respect to earn one. | |
| Posted by lackluster @ 04/26/2008 10:53 AM PDT | | hi mangi
"i think the substitute for dating your friend's crush is like dating your friend's ex."
i wanna include this into the post. bt it's too long already. and some people (like AIZAT!) dont read long post. haha :P
hmm for me, its not a matter of "dia punya lah sakan suka tapi ko plak dapat". but like you said, its just a "friendly" gesture to let your friend knows about it. and i am sure if your friend is a good friend (ask this to yourself) obviously your friend wouldnt mind! your friend might even be excited for you :)
p.s. sometimes, i do think animals live their life better than us. i mean, altho they shit anywhere, bt they dig into others shit for sure. haha XP | |
| Posted by [re-arrange] @ 04/29/2008 06:10 AM PDT | | hmmm... interesting topic.
Allow the once-legendary-now-fallen-Dr Love to comment.
I'd choose A.
First thing first, you need to define crush. By my standard, CRUSH is NOT a relationship. CRUSH is just, crush. Null. Nothing.
I have crush with Sara Sidle long time ago, when CSI first started. Should I be jealous if she goes out with Grissom, as an example?
Or the most important question, do you have any rights to be jealous at the first place? Its crush. Unless you have a relationship with him/her (tak kira lah scandal ke.. bf gf ke..), what's your right to deny other people to date?
1st point covered. Move on to a 2nd one.
#2: Date. A date might or might not indicate something. If someone date your crush, are you crushed too? (Now that's sound ironic and sarcastic). Should you mourn or should you make your move then?
Your choice here define yourself. If you mourn and do nothing, then, you're such a loser. Somebody "smack" you and you let it be???
LOL.
#3: Friend. Okay I might say its true that it hurts when your friend say it out loud about his/her date with your crush. But then, every people is for himself / herself.
Everyone have their own evil. Everyone will care about themselves.
People are born selfish.
If given an option: kill your friend or you die, which one will you do?
If you choose death as your options, then you're such a fool. Which one is important, your life or your friend?
You're born into this world alone (exception for those twins baby). Why should you give up your life for someone you just know for a shorter period than your own life?
True, your friend might be a jerk. Or a bitch. But does it mean you got to be one too? *raised eyebrow*
#4: Progression - what happened next? Is your friend having a relationship with your crush? or it remain nothing?
How should you react with what has happened? True enough, you might be fighting like kiddo when your friend be such a jerk. But if there's no progression, do you need to progress/continue to be a jerk to him/her then?
If you answer yes, where's your value of friendship? One small mistake and there's no more friend? Oh isn't that making you an asshole, yourself?
I'm sorry to say this but the way I interpret this post - its confusing and you're making it complicated by yourself. Why don't you set it clear - give a distinction between friends, crushs, gf-bf, scandal, ex?
Having define that will make your life easier. And having said that, sorry to say that this kinda bullshit "BFF" syndrom always happened to only immature girls.
You'll learn from it. Just stop being immature and set something in your own life. | |
| Posted by lackluster @ 04/29/2008 07:43 PM PDT | | i guess everyone ve their own definition about what a crush is.
:)
i dunno if it's the same in a guys POV. i dunno if you guys share stories about how you feel about your crush among your good friends. (and i said good because clearly BFF dont date other ppl crush.)
like how this crush dress/look/feel/smell/color of his shoes/how he does his hair. i dunno if guys share all those details among friends. yea i know, it might sound like a freak/weird/...blah3 bt thats how we girls are.. we talked about every single details.
it is like a sense of trust, nothing more. the same person who told you "hey he really likes you!" is the same person who date your crush the next day. haha well yeah, life can be humorous.
and YES. we do share the same interest of the same guy! there's no rule about one guy can only be admired by one girl! but the key word here we SHARE. we acknowledge each other. i share the same crush on Torres with God-knows-how-many-women in the world. =/
and come on, being Dr Love, i dont think its necessary to remind you on how emotional girls are. we are easily being posessive towards teddy bears, chocolate.. and let alone... crush? LOL
so you're telling me that, if you really like a girl of many years, and you friend knew about how u feel about her and suddenly you saw them dating, you will be okay and wish them all the best (since crush = zilch relationship) wow, you're the most noble & unselfish person on earth!
GOOD FOR YOU!!
"But if there's no progression, do you need to progress/continue to be a jerk to him/her then? ..... Oh isn't that making you an asshole, yourself?"
nope. i will not be an asshole. bt i will not be stupid. the friendship can go on. bt that's that - the trust shield can never be mend once broken. :)
maybe i asked this too generally perhaps. bt thats the point. now i can see an interesting view too ^__^ thx for sharing!
p.s. hi adik :) it's adik right? wahh im speechless by the fact tat u visited me blog. dang, i think it's cool. haha XP | |
| Posted by rean @ 05/01/2008 12:14 PM PDT | | | BFF tu apa ek? | |
| Posted by seth @ 05/01/2008 04:01 PM PDT | | Dr love is being funny I guess.
if our friend date our crush, we should either be cool with it or make a move. no use of being a bitch/jerk or being "immature".
BUT
if the relationship has no progression we should forgive and forget and move on. if we act bitch/jerk towards our friend, we are an asshole.
my question is, why bother being nice to a person who was in the 1st place an asshole? it is like, our friend can be (bornt) selfish towards us, and we cant??
haha, it's a little funny. it's rather an emotional post from a Dr btw.
p.s. and YOU, have fun! altho, we ALL know, Liverpool lose. :) | |
| Posted by lackluster @ 05/01/2008 08:16 PM PDT | | rean chan, BFF = bestfriend forever.
p.s. i never use it too =/
seth, exactly t_t
p.s. keji siol. | |
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